Go Ahead, Embody The Part (On Purpose)
Sometimes you have to blend to unblend.
When and why I encourage clients to become the part. Dave Adamusko unpacks Direct Access on the podcast. Plus, a few recent gems from The One Inside.
Unblending is such a fundamental part of the IFS healing steps. It opens up space between us (our Self) and our parts. Even a little bit of separation can be all we need to gain perspective and work through emotional blocks. I’ve heard it said that it’s the magic sauce of IFS. I totally agree.
But sometimes I take a different direction—I blend with a part. On purpose.
It’s an approach I’ve found really helpful working with clients and in my own IFS work. You embody a part and truly feel what it’s feeling. It can think and say what it wants without any other parts needing to filter it. When we open the door for a part to express itself in a way it doesn’t usually get to, we really hear all it’s carrying and feeling. We essentially hold space for ourselves.
Blending can be the most direct path to befriending. It’s a beautiful opportunity for the part to be witnessed and actually helps me unblend. Like working with my angry teenage part…if I let it just say whatever it wants to say, it’s a pretty quick experience of letting it yell and cuss and get it all out. Then, its energy can soften, and the parts around it that were holding it back can soften too. From softening the part itself and the parts trying to hold it back, I feel more Self Energy coming through. It allows more of me to be here.
Blending is a form of Direct Access—a powerful tool that many IFS practitioners find both intriguing and, honestly, intimidating. Last week on podcast, Dave Adamusko joined me to break down why Direct Access is such a valuable (and underused) tool in the IFS kit. He validates the discomfort you might feel when approaching Direct Access and shares his practical guidance and perspective on how embracing this approach can help clients unblend and deepen the Self-to-Part relationship.
Have you ever blended with a part on purpose? I’d love to hear how it felt and what came up for you.
In Case You Missed It
Here’s what we’ve been up to at The One Inside over the last few weeks:
Episode 211 — Mastering Direct Access in IFS with Dave Adamusko
Extended Interview with Dave Adamusko — on finding hope and befriending goal-oriented parts.
“IFS + Enneagram” June live event replay (for paid subscribers, upgrade to listen)
“If It’s a Part Then Who Am I?” — Jeff discovers his “best Self” isn’t what he thought.
Episode 210 — Parenting, Parts, and Repair with Anna Pupero
A video read-along of Anna’s new book, “My Friends Inside” — don’t miss this!
“My Soft Shell Season” — on reframing inner critics and embracing vulnerability.
Yes! “Blend to unblend!” I appreciate you laying this out clearly. I’ve been doing this inner parts work on/with myself mostly on my own. As I’ve gotten to know my system, know when parts are present, it gets easier—-and less scary— to let them have their say. One of the beauties of IFS for me has been realizing I am NOT my parts, but they are A PART of me. And because that is a profound realization, and relief, that giving them some space to say all of it that they need, is a-ok. And by default when I listen to them, I am not blended because I then am a witness to them—can’t be both!
However, I’ve been feeling a strong need to be in the presence of another to hear my parts about tough trailheads (remnants of sa and parenting through some aspects of adolescence). And it’s been difficult finding that just right person that wants to sit in this particular space (parts talking can be kind of weird—and I think miraculous at the same time).
This so much 🩷my IFS mentor always says that blending with parts is a great way to get to know them & I so appreciate the embodied wisdom of this piece 🩷