Yes! “Blend to unblend!” I appreciate you laying this out clearly. I’ve been doing this inner parts work on/with myself mostly on my own. As I’ve gotten to know my system, know when parts are present, it gets easier—-and less scary— to let them have their say. One of the beauties of IFS for me has been realizing I am NOT my parts, but they are A PART of me. And because that is a profound realization, and relief, that giving them some space to say all of it that they need, is a-ok. And by default when I listen to them, I am not blended because I then am a witness to them—can’t be both!
However, I’ve been feeling a strong need to be in the presence of another to hear my parts about tough trailheads (remnants of sa and parenting through some aspects of adolescence). And it’s been difficult finding that just right person that wants to sit in this particular space (parts talking can be kind of weird—and I think miraculous at the same time).
This so much 🩷my IFS mentor always says that blending with parts is a great way to get to know them & I so appreciate the embodied wisdom of this piece 🩷
Tammy, I just loved this interview with Dave Adamusko. It was insightful and empowering. Great questions, great answers and thanks for the vulnerability going in. It emboldens me to use Direct Access more freely. Particularly moved by the idea that we're ALLWAYS doing direct access.
I have found blending to unblend to be one of the most powerful tools I have! Like your experience with the teenage part, my first time trying this I had a part that was full of anger and indignation. So I took it for a walk and it cursed for about 15 minutes, just over and over repeating the same couple of sentences filled with f-bombs. The relief I felt after that was incredible!
For me, the secret ingredient to this approach is being regulated by walking. There is nothing like that bilateral stimulation of the feet and arms and eyes to make it feel very safe to unblend and just let fly. My parts *LOVE LOVE LOVE* the opportunity to let their feelings have full expression and I have lots of Self energy to hold space for them. At this point I don't always have to be walking but sometimes when I'm feeling something strong I go take a walk with it and just let the part have its time on center stage. Everyone else else in the system understands it and respects it a lot more after that.
Can you write a little about IFS being a "constraint release" system? I have had that phrase stuck in my head lately because I feel like that has been the powerful piece of it for me.
Love this. I can... but short answer here- think of parts all around us. we (self) unblend and befriend each, they step aside. The more they step aside the more of Us is there... like peeling an onion. we just keep peeling each layer (part)
Makes so much sense to me!! I had no idea (prior) that what I needed to heal was to release constraints. I assumed I needed to add or fix something. But honestly that is truly almost all I needed, giving my parts lots of permission to be heard and experienced, often for the first time.
Yes! “Blend to unblend!” I appreciate you laying this out clearly. I’ve been doing this inner parts work on/with myself mostly on my own. As I’ve gotten to know my system, know when parts are present, it gets easier—-and less scary— to let them have their say. One of the beauties of IFS for me has been realizing I am NOT my parts, but they are A PART of me. And because that is a profound realization, and relief, that giving them some space to say all of it that they need, is a-ok. And by default when I listen to them, I am not blended because I then am a witness to them—can’t be both!
However, I’ve been feeling a strong need to be in the presence of another to hear my parts about tough trailheads (remnants of sa and parenting through some aspects of adolescence). And it’s been difficult finding that just right person that wants to sit in this particular space (parts talking can be kind of weird—and I think miraculous at the same time).
yes! def powerful work when we do sit with our parts with someone guiding us :)
This so much 🩷my IFS mentor always says that blending with parts is a great way to get to know them & I so appreciate the embodied wisdom of this piece 🩷
Tammy, I just loved this interview with Dave Adamusko. It was insightful and empowering. Great questions, great answers and thanks for the vulnerability going in. It emboldens me to use Direct Access more freely. Particularly moved by the idea that we're ALLWAYS doing direct access.
Thanks, friend! Nice to see you on here.
I have found blending to unblend to be one of the most powerful tools I have! Like your experience with the teenage part, my first time trying this I had a part that was full of anger and indignation. So I took it for a walk and it cursed for about 15 minutes, just over and over repeating the same couple of sentences filled with f-bombs. The relief I felt after that was incredible!
For me, the secret ingredient to this approach is being regulated by walking. There is nothing like that bilateral stimulation of the feet and arms and eyes to make it feel very safe to unblend and just let fly. My parts *LOVE LOVE LOVE* the opportunity to let their feelings have full expression and I have lots of Self energy to hold space for them. At this point I don't always have to be walking but sometimes when I'm feeling something strong I go take a walk with it and just let the part have its time on center stage. Everyone else else in the system understands it and respects it a lot more after that.
Can you write a little about IFS being a "constraint release" system? I have had that phrase stuck in my head lately because I feel like that has been the powerful piece of it for me.
Love this. I can... but short answer here- think of parts all around us. we (self) unblend and befriend each, they step aside. The more they step aside the more of Us is there... like peeling an onion. we just keep peeling each layer (part)
Makes so much sense to me!! I had no idea (prior) that what I needed to heal was to release constraints. I assumed I needed to add or fix something. But honestly that is truly almost all I needed, giving my parts lots of permission to be heard and experienced, often for the first time.